To text or not to text?

Text.....Ok we've all used it to avoid unwanted or laborious phone calls but they can be a social faux pas waiting to happen.

It's seriously taking the place of conversation and I must confess I am not a huge fan. Don't get me wrong I do text, it's cheap, convienient- you can get your word across without getting derailed by inane chatter, but so much of what we do now takes away personal contact which is absolutely vital in gathering information about others. Think of the little things you pick up while speaking with someone over the phone, the pauses, the uhming and aahing, the raised pitch if they are excited, all this is lost.
My real problem with texts are the misunderstandings that can happen let's face it we've all been there, thinking LOL meant lots of love, imagine sending it to a disraught friend at the end of a text only to find out it really means Laugh out loud. Another issue is the fact that a simple careless tap of the finger can send it to the wrong recipient, Dan, Dad, you catch my drift.
Texting at any point in a relationship has got it drawbacks, I guess some communication is better than none at all but there is some wisdom in calling rather than texting. It's very easy for someone to text sweet nothings without meaning a single word, text excuses and yes far easier to lie in a text than over the phone. Texting during arguments can also lead to things excalating because texts can come across as cold and inpersonal.
It's not all bad, Text messaging has advantages over making a regular phone call. They enable you the privacy to exchange messages with each other without fear of other people knowing what you and another individual are talking about. They are also good to use to notify people if you are going to be a few minutes late to an appointment. They allow you to send a quick note to arrange meetings without interfering much with each others busy schedules. Text Messaging are also useful reminder tools. You can also send pictures in text messages instantly but is this an advantage or disadvantage, probably one for another day but worth mentioning I guess, that it's wise not to send a picture to anyone you won't be happy to see with at least one other random person.
The most annoying thing about texts though is the text speak, which I must confess I really struggle with. I have compiled a list to bring us all up to date so here goes;

ALOL -Actually laughing out loud
CUL - See you later
D8- Date
LMAO- Laughing My Arse Off
QT- Cutie
SBTA- Sorry being thick again
SCNR-Sorry could not resist
SED-Said enough darling
SOHF-Sense of humour failure
SSDD Same stuff different day
STFU-Shut the f**k up
STYS-Speak to you soon
TTML-Talk to me later
WTF-What the F**k
WUBU2-What you been up to?
WYD-What are you doing?
4YEO-For your eyes only

Well if you knew all of these you are far more up to date than I am. Some things are better said over a phone call or even a visit but texts are here to stay knowing when to use them is key.

Valentines day-worth celebrating or a load of tosh

There is no doubt about it, Valentine's day has become very commercialised since it first started out as , Saint Valentine's Day (commonly shortened to Valentine's Day), is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in AD 496. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The holiday first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. For chocolatiers, jewellers, restaurateurs and greeting card manufacturers, Valentine's Day is, after Christmas, the most lucrative moment of the year. But this year the outlook is not very good. For one thing, Valentine's Day falls on a Sunday, when there are no postal deliveries, which can't encourage the sending of cards. And men are increasingly reluctant to send cards. According to a survey carried out by Lindt chocolates, many of the men who would once have sent cards now prefer to declare their love by text message or email. Women's expectations of male gallantry have also fallen very low, for the survey finds that two-thirds of them expect to share the cost of their Valentine's Day dinner out, while only a third will be surprised if they have to "go Dutch".

I think it's absolutely worth celebrating especially for long term couples, I don't however necessarily agree with spending heaps of money, I do not also agree with the cards either except in the early stages of a relationship when it may be too early to communicate effectively and cards can pretty much for you.I do think it's a time to check in with your loved ones and show they are on your mind and in your thoughts. A small token won't go amiss either


IF you are alone this valentine's day..never fear try these ideas for a funfilled day.

Go out to dinner with a friend or friends or a family member who is special to you. Celebrate the love you have for each other.

• Have a Valentine's Day party. Invite people who you know are alone, too. Have them each bring a dish they ‘love' to share.

• Bake or make something for someone else...maybe cupcakes..everyone loves cupcakes. But you will think of what suits the person or persons you are baking for. Take it to them and tell them how much they mean to you.

• Try to stay out of the past. Stay in the moment you're in where you are only you, celebrating love and what it means in your life.

• Let out the feelings. If Valentine's Day has particularly poignant memories for you and you cannot shake the sadness, or even the anger that you have lost the one you love... let it out. Not at people, of course, just in the quiet of your own space...in whatever manner that comes to you. After you have vented your sadness, anger, hurt, rage...there will be room to let in some joy.

• Rent your favorite funny movie. A hearty laugh is as therapeutic as a good cry. My friend loves ‘Meatballs' and ‘Sleeper.' I tend to the Marx Brothers or the silliness of Monty Python. Whatever movie you love. Watch it and laugh. It may be the first time in a long time that you have.

• Create a ritual that has meaning for you. For instance: write a note or a blessing to your loved one, or one for yourself and your new life. Put it in a balloon and let it fly. Whatever ritual you create will be the best one.

• Concentrate on gratitude. Keep a positive attitude about all the love you do have in your life and focus less on what you have lost. It brings great rewards in terms of your well being. Write down what you are grateful for and keep it where you can see it.

• Get out in Nature. Take a long walk. Hug a tree if you really want to feel stability and strength. Or drive to a spot that gives you comfort and peace. It helps us realize that there is something much bigger than our own pain

Has Tiger got nine lives?

If you haven't heard about all the goings on at Tigers den then you haven't been on the planet.I won't bore you with all the details, heaven knows I would have a hard time keeping up, there seems to be something new every minute.
There is something about excelling in sports that makes the individual feel invincible. It's all those voices telling you how great you are and that you are the best, numero uno, number one-necessary to build up the confidence that is necessary to get to the peak of any sport- but all those years spent focussing on just you, families spend so much time on a talented child to the detriment of other children. It is pretty hard to not turn out selfish with that much attention all your life but and this is a big but..... we are all called to face different challenges but still be decent human beings and he alledgedly hasn't. He is not alone, other sportstar scandals include

Kobe Bryant
In 2003, the L.A. Laker was accused of sexually assaulting 19-year old Katelyn Faber at a hotel in Eagle, Colorado. Bryant -- married to wife Vanessa since 2001 -- admitted to committing adultery but denied raping Faber. Charges were eventually dropped; he and Vanessa are still together.

OJ Simpson
In what was dubbed the "trial of the century," the former NFL star was acquitted in 1995 for the murder of ex-wife Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman. In 2008, Simpson was found guilty of a violent Las Vegas robbery and assault, and is now serving at least nine years in prison.

Mike Tyson
The heavyweight boxing champ's first marriage in the late 80s to actress Robin Givens was marred by trouble: she accused him of violence, spousal abuse and mental instablity. In 1992, Tyson, now 43, was convicted of raping 18 year-old Desiree Washington and served three years in prison

Alex Rodriguez
His marriage to wife Cynthia ended in 2008 after she discovered his affair with pop star Madonna, now 51. The New York Post had previously connected the New York Yankee, now 34, to an exotic dancer in Toronto

Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan
Figure skaters at war! Harding, now 39, admitted to being involved in the 1994 attack on her rival; Kerrigan, now 40, was struck on the knees with a collapsible baton and famously cried "Why? Why?" Harding was banned from the sport.

David Beckham

the weeks following Beckham's move to Spain on July 22, Victoria was to be seen far more frequently in London and New York, working on a new album with which she hoped to resurrect her flagging career as a pop singer. She was photographed in the company of Damon Dash, a large, black, cigar-chomping rap-music entrepreneur said to be helping her with the hip-hop tracks. David, meanwhile, was languishing in his suite at the luxurious five-star Santa Mauro hotel in Madrid, where he would eventually notch up a bill of £433,157 for his first 80 days, including £74,285 for parking the five cars he'd had sent over from Britain.

Bored and lonely, it was perhaps inevitable that he should entertain impure thoughts about his luscious personal assistant, who was great fun, good company and the kind of woman few red-blooded males could ignore. Rebecca certainly noticed a subtle change in his attitude towards her: "I was getting messages from him late at night — messages with a double meaning. Over the weeks I had changed my opinion about him and realised that there were lots of things about him I really liked. He was very attentive to me and I sensed something was growing between us." aptly put.

So back to Tiger, some of the above have managed to weather the storm so can he bounce back? Some sponsors that have stood by the golfer so far now also appear to be tempering their public backing of him. Gatorade, the soft-drink brand, has stopped its range of Tiger Focus energy drinks, while commercials featuring Woods have disappeared from prime-time television and many cable channels after reports of his extramarital affairs, according to Nielsen, the media monitoring company. Woods’s public ratings have also dropped, affecting the likes of Gillette, Nike, Tag Heuer, Accenture and AT&T, whose marketing campaigns have been modelled on his clean performance both on and off the fairways. Some retailers are reporting a reduction of up to 33 per cent in sales of their Tiger Woods action figures.

According to the Davie Brown Index, used to gauge the ability of personalities to influence shoppers, his ranking as the sixth-most-powerful celebrity endorser has fallen in less than two weeks to 24th.

Is stress always bad for you?

The word is pretty ,much everywhere-I'm stressed, How stressed are you?, What's your stress?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics,

Stress is the uncomfortable feeling you get when you’re worried, scared, angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. It is caused by emotions, but it affects your mood and body. Many adults think that kids don’t have stress because they don’t have to work and support a family. They are wrong!

What Causes Stress?

Stress comes from many different places.

From your family

From your friends.

Even from yourself. “I need to lose weight, wear the right clothes, get a better job, achieve more goals. Having the following traits;
Inability to accept uncertainty Pessimism Negative self-talk
Unrealistic expectations Perfectionism Lack of assertiveness
And from
Arguing or watching people around you argue
Working within tight deadlines or in a high pressure environment.
Relationship difficulties
Financial difficulties
Not being good enough at something
Worrying about your body image
Worrying about family and friends
Being too busy
Feeling guilty

How Does the Body Handle Stress?

First, here are 2 short definitions.

Hormone. A chemical made by one part of the body to send a message to the
rest of the body.
Nervous system. The brain, spinal cord, and all of the nerves. The nerves
send messages between your brain and the rest of your body.

Stress is a survival tool
The body is a finely tuned machine that can change quickly to do what we need it to do, like react to stress. The body actually has 2 different sets of nerves. One works while we’re relaxed, and the other works when there’s an emergency. These 2 systems cannot work together at the same time. It’s important to know this because we can shut off the emergency system by turning on the relaxed system. That helps us feel better!
Even when there are no real emergencies, our emotions can make our bodies act like there is a huge emergency. This is because the brain controls both emotions and stress hormones. If your brain thinks something terrible is happening, your body will react as if it really is! Even a little bit of stress that never seems to go away can confuse the body. It makes the body work harder to prepare for an emergency that may not really be there. This goes right back to ages ago when people needed to survive in Jungles and escape prey like Lions and Tigers.The emergency nervous system was a great thing to have keeping us alert and helping us work harder.

If Stress Is a Survival Tool, Why Does It Make Us Feel Awful?

Even when there are no real emergencies, our emotions can make our bodies act like there is a huge emergency. This is because the brain controls both emotions and stress hormones. If your brain thinks something terrible is happening, your body will react as if it really is! Even a little bit of stress that never seems to go away can confuse the body. It makes the body work harder to prepare for an emergency that may not really be there.
Obviously, A tiger running at you is a real crisis. If you believe a mild stress is an emergency, you will not be able to effectively handle it. Your body will be preparing to deal with a real tiger. You won’t be able to concentrate on anything but escaping. The trick is to figure out when something really is an emergency and when your emotions are only acting as if it is one.Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way. When you sense danger – whether it’s real or imagined – the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction, or the stress response.
The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life – giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.

OK enough already! Down to what we really want to know-How to manage stress, since we know we can't get rid of it completely.

Learn how to relax
You can’t completely eliminate stress from your life, but you can control how much it affects you. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the stress response. When practiced regularly, these activities lead to a reduction in your everyday stress levels and a boost in your feelings of joy and serenity. They also increase your ability to stay calm and collected under pressure.

Invest in your emotional health
Most people ignore their emotional health until there’s a problem. But just as it requires time and energy to build or maintain your physical health, so it is with your emotional well-being. The more you put in to it, the stronger it will be. People with good emotional health have an ability to bounce back from stress and adversity. This ability is called resilience. They remain focused, flexible, and positive in bad times as well as good. The good news is that there are many steps you can take to build your resilience and your overall emotional health

Dealing with Stressful Situations: The Four A’s
Change the situation:
Avoid the stressor.
Alter the stressor.
Change your reaction:
Adapt to the stressor.
Accept the stressor.

easier said than done-I agree, keep an eye out for the part 2 which will analyse each of these and how to do them

Do Something Nice for Someone Else

Hold a door open for someone at the bank, give someone directions if they look lost or make a point to compliment three people on your way to work. Small or big, directed at friends or strangers, random acts of kindness make the person performing the kind act happier when they're grouped together, according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, an experimental psychologist at UC Riverside. Doing a considerate thing for another person five times in one day made the doer happier than if they had spread out those five acts over one week. Lyubomirsky explains that because we all perform acts of kindness naturally, it seems to please us more when we're more conscious of it. There are social rewards, too, when people respond positively.

Do good, feel good” is one of the great truths of happiness -- but you may be thinking, “Sure, good deeds would make me happy, but I barely have time to get through the essentials of my day. I don’t have time to do any good deeds!”

Wrong. Here are some ways that you can help other people—and make yourself feel great, at the same time—in under five minutes.

1. Be friendly. I've decided that there are five degrees of social interactions with strangers: hostile, rude, neutral, polite, and friendly. I find it very difficult to be downright friendly to strangers, but I always find myself energized and cheered by a friendly interaction. It only takes an extra minute to exchange a few pleasant words, but it makes a real difference.

2. Say “yes.” If you can, and if you should, say “yes.”

3. Say “no.” My sister, who is a TV-writer in Hollywood, once told me, “'Yes' comes right away; ‘no’ never comes.” Meaning, for example, that when she’s pitched an idea, if she doesn’t hear “yes” right away, it means they don’t like the idea. I’ve found this precept to be widely true. In many circumstances, we find it hard to say "no" — partly because it will hurt someone’s feelings, partly because it closes a possibility that could otherwise remain open. But waiting to hear "no" saps people’s energy by keeping them hoping for an answer they aren’t going to get. If someone is waiting for your “No,” put them out of their misery.

4. Sign up on the national organ-donor registry. This takes no time at all, and the consequences could be HUGE! Tell your family that you signed up, too. Remember, the one minute that someone takes, right now, to sign up on the registry might save YOUR life six months from now. And vice versa. Discuss this with any loved ones as I found out, it can indeed be very distressing and make you appear selfish.

5. Lead them not into temptation. It can feel generous, friendly, and fun-loving to urge people to take another piece of cake, to drink another glass of wine, or to make an extra purchase, or to urge them to give themselves a break by skipping the gym, skipping class, or quitting smoking next week instead of today. But when you see people truly trying to resist temptation, encourage them to stick to their resolutions. The Big Man and I always encourage each other to go to the gym. It can feel a little Spartan, but in the end, we’re both much cheerier when we’ve exercised.

6. Do someone else’s chore. Don’t you sometimes wish that someone would do one of your little jobs? If nothing else, to show an awareness of the fact that you faithfully do it, day after day? Emptying the diaper pail or starting the office coffee-pot, even though it’s not “your” job, helps people feel appreciated and cared for. One of my Twelve Commandments is to “Spend out,” which reminds me not to keep score, not to focus so much on everything coming out even – like chores.