It’s increasingly a woman’s world, as boys and men lose ground at school and at work. A chance to redefine manhood?
These days, outside top City circles, being a man does not signify first-class status. In much of modern life, maleness increasingly means coming second. For instance, boys are now less likely than girls to succeed in school and are less likely to apply for and get into university. Last year there were 172,925 female undergraduates and only 141,643 male. Teenage boys are more likely to take drugs, drink, commit crime and exhibit antisocial behaviour. They also tend to spend longer out of work and in training. Society has become “feminised” in the skills it values: multitasking, communication, sitting still in front of a computer — all these play to female strengths rather than male ones. And accordingly, the social status of masculinity is changing. In many areas it is men who are now The Second Sex, as Simone De Beauvoir, the feminist philosopher, described women in 1949.
Mark Penn, the author of the influential book Microtrends, has highlighted the phenomenon of what he calls Guys Left Behind: “Sure, most leadership positions are still filled by men, and there are lots of super-achieving men out there,” he says. “But on the other end of the spectrum, serious problems are brewing for the future of men.” According to statistics, he says, men are 15 times more likely to go to prison, more likely to be obese, alcoholic, unemployed and die earlier.
“When it comes to earning what you learn, guys aren’t learning what they need to — women are getting almost 60% of the college degrees conferred… This college gap could be the one that spells the most serious problem for guys, and over time can be at the root of a lot of increased frustration and even crime... The lifestyles and habits that worked so well for men in more dangerous times may not be working so well for them in the information age. In every age from the caves right on through the second world war, it worked for men to take big risks, have short attention spans and be driven by ego. These days, those things are more likely to get in the way of doing a good job.”
many women of my generation, the main breadwinner in my family. I’m sure Duffield regards me as some kind of curiosity, but I’m not. I am merely ahead of the curve. Coming up behind me are legions of high-powered, high-earning women. These are the alpha queens, former “graduate princesses” who, having done much better at school and university than their male peers, a decade further down the line are now landing the best jobs too.
At board level, where men supreme, women are still largely unrepresented, but lower down they are gaining ground in the professions and business. Last year almost 60% of new solicitors were women. Ten years ago there were 64,737 female and 132,577 male doctors; those figures have now risen to 94,782 females and 136,876 males. Even in male-dominated fields such as investment banking 30% of the intake is female. And self-employed “lipstick entrepreneurs”(more than 1m, up 17% since 2000) are bucking the recession, according to a recent report for the Federation of Small Businesses, which predicts: “More female board members, more female millionaires. The pay gap and glass ceiling will become obsolete.” The alpha queens are on the march.
This female empowerment is a global phenomenon; in America there are now more women than men in the workforce. The credit crunch over there has been called the Mancession: four out of every five jobs lost in the US over the past two years have been held by men. It is blue-collar jobs in manufacturing and construction that are haemorrhaging, while white-collar work in increasingly female-dominated fields, such as education and health, is holding steady or even growing.
Society has changed incredibly quickly: work, schools and the family were once arranged around men, allowing them to excel. But these days careers are less linear; structures are less hierarchical, and in an increasingly mechanised and computerised world, men’s traditional strengths are less prized. Indeed, it is now often women who seem to have all the choices: if they want a stellar career, companies will increasingly fast-track them as it becomes more important to be seen to have women in senior roles (even the Conservative party is at it); but if as a woman you decide to work flexibly or part-time, or not to work at all, that is fine too. Feminism was about giving women the right to choose — these days it often seems as if females hold all the cards.
Julia Margo, head of research at the think-tank Demos, is compiling a report called The Lost Boys. “At school, GCSE attainment is 10% lower for boys, and fewer young men than women graduate from university,” she says. “Many have put this down to educational approach and the curriculum being more suited to girls. Increasing ‘feminisation’ of the teaching profession is more and more frequently cited.
“In policy terms, the key areas of interest in the past few years have been women-centric: teen pregnancy, closing the gender gap, work-life balance, as governments strive to make us a more equal society. But what if we have now changed the playing field so much that it is actually boys who are getting a raw deal? Boys and men who are unsure of their place in the world? Boys feeling excluded and grasping for new roles and ways of being, as women forge ahead? The recession has particularly hit male workers in the UK, too.”
Boys may still aspire to become engineers and scientists, doctors and lawyers, but compared with girls, they aren’t making the grades. And in a society where girls win all the educational prizes, what rewards are there for the boys? The feminised face of the working world is forcing men to re-examine their own roles both within employment and outside it. Could those changes be good for them, giving them freedom, choice and opportunity, just as the sexual revolution changed the lives of women? It’s when children come along that things get complicated for men and women. They earn similar wages in their twenties, but when women start families the pay gap opens up. Traditionally, it has been the woman who, as the lower earner, cuts back on work (and pay) when she reproduces — but what happens when it is the woman who has the higher-paying job? The decision often comes down to economics. Successful women are following the well-worn path of the successful man down the ages: finding a loving, nurturing partner who will keep the home fires burning.
The number of stay-at-home dads has doubled in a decade to 200,000.
The recession is driving this trend. The psychologist Steve Biddulph, author of Raising Boys, says studies show that, around the age of six, “Boys seem to lock on to their dad, or stepdad or whichever male is around, and want to be with him, to learn from him and copy him. They want to ‘study how to be male’.”
The dearth of male teachers in primary schools and the high numbers of single mothers in areas such as Moston leave many boys with no such father figure. Meanwhile, many relationships break down because of domestic violence, leaving boys with a sense that men are hated and hate them.
Earlier this year, The Centre for Social Justice, the think-tank set up by Ian Duncan Smith to examine social breakdown, published a report on street gangs called Dying to Belong. It noted that boys growing up with physically or emotionally absent fathers often suffered from feelings of rejection and inadequacy. Their masculinity was learnt from alpha-male imagery in the culture. From this came the macho culture of “respect” which fuels so many murderous petty disputes.
Barry Fishwick, a superhead who has already turned around several tough schools in Warrington and has just been appointed to transform North Manchester High School for Boys into a new Creative and Media Academy notes that the gang influence was clear on the boys at Moston. Many wore their trousers round their hips, a fashion that began in America when young men were released from custody without their belts. Another signifier of this kind of culture is golf gloves (worn to stop traces of explosives being left on the hands when handling guns). Many of the young black men had hair shaved with totemic patterns. Fishwick explained that the majority of boys at his school were the children of second- or even third-generation single mothers. “Often there are no men in their family constellations at all. There are many more kids coming through to us in schools like this who are uncertain of their place in the structure of things. They have no social skills — some, aged 11, can’t use a knife or fork. They have only ever eaten takeaway meals.” He describes children witnessing aggression and domestic violence, often looking after younger siblings while fending for themselves. Many have never known anyone with a job.
A few weeks ago Fishwick’s lads played a football match against Altrincham Grammar School. “You could see the deprivation. Our boys are pale and thin, or obese, with not much hair. By contrast the grammar-school boys are big, hairy and well-nourished. They look completely different. I’d so love them to win. They hadn’t a chance this time, but we’ll get there.”
Sport is essential to these boys’ development. Many of them have never been shown how to channel or curb their aggression. As studies of bringing up boys show, it is through rough play that fathers teach their sons how to control their strength. “We have high levels of testosterone in boys who have never learnt to resolve tensions in any other ways than through violence,” says Fishwick. “So, yes, we have a few fights.”
I fear “a few fights” is an understatement. The world these boys inhabit is one of aggression and menace. Kid British is a successful pop group who grew up in north Manchester and had a hit song, Our House is Dadless. Life on these estates, according to singer James Mayer, is one of constant vigilance to avoid getting beaten up. “The first thing anyone wants to buy is a car, so you don’t have to walk the streets.”
That aggression spills into school. When the bell goes the boys pour out of their classes. There is a distinct air of menace. When I try to meet their eyes, they avoid all contact or stare right through me. We go into a classroom, where I ask some of them what they want to be when they grow up. The cool, gangster-looking kid at the back says: “I want to be a thoracic surgeon.” The others want to be firemen, roofers. “I’m going to be unemployed,” says one wag. They laugh. I ask one of the young female teachers if she ever feels frightened there. “No,” she says. “They’re good kids when you get to know them.”
Fishwick believes there is yet another problem facing his youngsters: the education system itself. Is the curriculum weighted against boys? “I have spent 30 years teaching in mixed schools. In my experience the system favours the girls; they are more sophisticated in communication and emotional awareness. They mature earlier. At 13 or 14, pupils have to make choices that will affect the rest of their lives. The girls are in a much better place to do that. And changes to the curriculum also play to their strengths
When feminists set out on the road to equality a century ago, they didn’t want to become men, they wanted to be judged on equal terms. They fought to do the jobs men did — and they wanted men to do some of the emotional work they did. Men and women may be different, but in our essential humanity we are the same. We all want what is best for our families, to raise happy children, to live the best, most interesting and fulfilling lives we can. The Llanelli men have found real happiness in living full lives with their families, redefining themselves by what they have to give rather than what they earn. If we are going to ensure that men do not become “Guys Left Behind”, as Penn puts it, society has to start working out what men need to get back on track.
