Seven ways to keep your bloke

HE is so gorgeous you'd love to hook up with him - or you've had a few dates and want more.
Here psychologist Dr PAM SPURR offers seven subtle ways to grab then keep his attention without appearing too desperate or obvious.

WORD PERFECT: The choice of words you use around him is crucial to him wanting more time with you.

This is known as verbal attraction, when you make him like you even if he doesn't know why he feels this way.

When you chat with him, use feelgood lines such as: "It's lovely to have bumped into you." Or: "This cocktail tastes heavenly." Or: "This is a wonderful place."

These words will zoom straight into his subconscious and he won't quite know why he always feels good around you - but he will.

SPEAKS VOLUMES: Sticking with the theme of what you say, your vocal tone is also crucial to attracting him.

Relationship research shows men are attracted to softer, slower and slightly lower tones than the high-pitched, excitable tones in which we gabble to our girlfriends.

Being wise with the way you speak will subtly seduce him. All he'll be conscious of is that he likes the sound of you speaking. But let him get a word in.

FOCUS HIS MIND: To seduce him into getting together with you, then staying with you, grab his attention. He needs to concentrate on you - and only you.

Which is why choosing a crowded, noisy bar for a first date is a bad idea. With loads of distractions, you'll be unable to focus on each other.

Choose a place which has subtle background music and lighting. Save clubbing for another time.

THE FOOD OF LOVE: It's rare for a woman to have a good appetite on a date. Instead, she pushes her food around on her plate.

But you give him a sexy subconscious message if you eat with a passion because he'll think you are also hungry in the bedroom - the two are linked.

SOME THINGS SHOULD ALWAYS REMAIN A MYSTERY: He loves the fact that your skin is soft, you don't have facial hair and you smell wonderful.

So if he rings when your face is slathered in a mud mask, don't tell him.

He really doesn't want to know how you make yourself so delicious - keep tweezing, plucking and shaving but in complete privacy.

A LITTLE DISTANCE GOES A LONG WAY: You've had a couple of hot dates, you can barely keep your hands off each other and you want to see him 24/7. But keeping a little distance between each other during the first few months has a positive psychological effect - he will want more of the wonderful you.

Despite wanting to see him every evening, carve out time with your friends and yourself - so heightening his interest.

FIND YOUR TOMBOY SIDE: Of course men love us because we're women but one resounding criticism is that we never let our girly sides slip.

Have perfect make-up and wear sexy little black dresses on dates but surprise him by sometimes mucking in with guy stuff.

He'll think you're even more gorgeous if you grab a paintbrush and offer to help him paint his sitting room - rather than back off in horror for fear of spoiling your nails. (courtesy the sun)

feeling down? 25 instant pick-me-ups to try

We've all been there, some days you just feel like sh!t. The blues overtake all of us from time to time. Here are 25 quick ways to pick up your spirits.

1. Keep a running list of inspiring quotes and uplifting jokes. Refer to them when you need to.

2. Call a good friend.

3. Think about how things would look if your life were perfect. Now imagine your life is just that way, and live out the rest of the day with that awareness.

4. Drink two glasses of water. Many times, what I thought was sadness was really just dehydration. Sounds simple, but it's true.

5. Fake a smile for 5 or 10 minutes.

6. Read an uplifting devotional or meditation. I read the bible and find it inspiring every time.

7. Close your eyes for a few minutes.

8. Call your mom.

9. Look through old scrapbooks or personal journals.

10. Go outside. A few minutes of fresh air can do wonders for your mood.

11. Go for a very quick jog.

12. Keep a gratitude journal, in which you write down things that you are thankful for. This is a great way to start and end each day. For a quick "pick-me-up," write as many gratitudes as you can in one minute. Don't think; just write.

13. Make something. Use your creative mind, and create something with your own two hands, whether it is a piece of jewelry, a scrapbook page, a pretty floral arrangement or a batch of cookies.

14. What is your biggest goal (or your biggest problem)? Do one thing that will contribute to its completion (or its solution.)

15. Keep a running list of things you enjoy doing. This sounds funny, but sometimes, when we're in a funk, we can't think of anything. Do something that you enjoy doing, just for the sake of doing it.

16. Think thoughts that make you feel just a little bit better. Find the best part of your situation and focus your thoughts on that. Repeat.

17. Eat something healthy and fresh. You could be feeling blue because your blood sugar has taken a dip. Eat a bowl of fresh fruits or vegetables.

18. Buy yourself a treat it could be something as simple as a bouquet of fresh flowers or example.

19. Pour a cup of hot cocoa or a cup of coffee and read a favorite magazine for a few minutes.

20. Make lists. It makes us feel so capable when we can cross things off our to-do lists.

21. Turn on music. Your favorite tunes can really lift your spirits. Use classical and jazz to calm; rock and roll or hip hop to energize.

22. Write down what's bothering you, as quickly as you can without stopping to think about it too much as you write. You can achieve a huge amount of clarity from this simple exercise.

23. Mark Twain said, "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." He's right, and it doesn't have to mean a big time investment. Just do something thoughtful for someone, right now.

24. De-clutter a part of your home or office that needs it. These little jobs can be really uplifting as they give us a sense of accomplishment throughout the day.

25. Set a new goal. If I'm feeling down in the dumps, sometimes all I need is something new to accomplish.

If your mood doesn't brighten right away, go with the flow, and accept your mood just the way it is. It is okay to be feel blue every now and then. Let yourself rest, and give yourself time to restore your own happy mood in your own natural time.